Concrete Jokes

What do British people call concrete?

Arsephalt

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What did the fish say when he hit concrete?

Dam(n).

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it?

Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.

Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete?

The old one was made of steal.

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?

Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "

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What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

Why is your shirt on wrong?

Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's the perfect name for a salon run by a couple of lesbian nuns?

Scissor Sisters *ba-dum-tiss*

Why couldn't the auction house find any buyers for the Celtic artifact?

It was completely runed.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world?

Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

Old Jokes More Old Jokes

How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better.

How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

3000 Jokes More 3000 Jokes

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

British Jokes More British Jokes

What do you call a British midget mother who can barely support her family?

Mini-Mum

Why was Timothy, the British astronaut, selected to go to the ISS?

He was in Peake condition.

Dam Jokes More Dam Jokes

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam.

What did the engineer say to the flood?

Dam!

Granite Jokes More Granite Jokes

Why did Mrs. Quartz divorce Mr. Quartz?

He took her for granite.

Why did the Limestone feel unappreciated?

Because he thought people were taking him for granite.