Waitress Jokes

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

A: uh, me so sorry.

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When can you tell your waitress is having a bad day?

When she has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

How do you know your waitress is having a rough night?

She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pen.

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*

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Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

How much is a soft drink ?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

How would you like that cooked?

gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

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What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

A: uh, me so sorry.

How Pokemon go came to be Customers: "Niantic, can we have 151 Pokemon?

Niantic: "147 Pokemon You want to have 145 Pokemon ! What are you going to do with 142 Pokemon !"

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why don't turkey vultures ever lose their luggage?

They only ...

What's that, turkey?

GOBBLE GOBBLE Timmy fell in a well GOBBLE GOBBLE breaks turkey's neck no time for your riddles, in the oven you go

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What would someone in the 13 hundreds say if you told them we fly in giant metal birds all around the world?

You mean across

What Chinese name means 'wolf'?

Hau Ling.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Whats do a baby and old people have in common?

They both get ditched in the park

How do you say goodbye to your pasta?

Pasta La Vista, baby!

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the balding German frau exclaim when her husband left her?

Ach! I tink I'm losing mein Herr!

What did Drake say to 2Chainz as he was leaving da club?

Challah at ya boy!

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do the French stink?

So blind people can hate them too

Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.

Breakup Jokes More Breakup Jokes

Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup?

Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!

Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup?

Because they were tailor made for it.

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What did the Iraqi boy say when his dad forgot his rucksack?

Baghdad!

Why was Princess Peach worried when Mario wanted to use her laptop?

She forgot to delete her Bowser history