Gardener Jokes

What did the gardener say to the rose?

Hello, bud.

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What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited?

Run Berry, run!

What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker?

A box hedge fund!

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener?

One of them has to water their vegetables

Why do gardeners make horrible cops?

Because they keep planting evidence.

What did the alien say to the gardener?

Take me to your weeder.

Why are gardeners the best pimps?

Because they are well versed in whorticulture

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?

A lawn moo-er.

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How do you know when a white girl recently visited her friends grave?

There's Starbucks next to the headstone.

What can you tell a black kid to do?

Go visit his family tree.

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How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

What happens when the Batman sees Catwoman?

The Dark Knight Rises.

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Why do women like men who can work on cars?

They know how to work under the hood!

What hood was the Swedish cholo from?

StockHOLMES!

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What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom?

Don't worry baby, I'm sterile.

What is the difference between pick and choose?

To pick is to make a selection... And choose are what Cubans wear on their feet.

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What do you call an epileptic frolicking in a garden?

Seizure salad.

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

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What do you call the game that centres around weak leadership?

Reddit.

Why was 11 afraid of 12?

Because 12 13 14!

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What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive?

A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)

What kind of cars do rabbits drive?

Hop rods.

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Why do farts stink?

So the deaf can enjoy them too.

What pizza topping to Koreans enjoy the most?

Pupperoni