Hermione Jokes

Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups?

Hermione went alone and was attacked by a troll

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Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione?

She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor.

Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?

Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch

What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?

Ouch! I Hermione!"

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

What did ron say when he got Hermione pregnant?

Fetus deletus

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How do Harry Potter fans flirt?

Hey baby, mind if I ? ;)

What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

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What do you call a none in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile I'm not sorry (PS, if this is a repost, I'm sorry that I didn't see the first time it got posted 2 years ago. Please don't accuse me of reposting)

What happened to the ghost who went to a party?

He had a wail of a time.

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Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds?

Marry her.

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What's green and lays in a ditch while covered in cookie crumbs?

The Girl Scout that got hit by a car.

How can you make a moth ball ?

Hit it with a fly swatter.

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Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?

Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

What does your wife/girlfriend want more than anything in the world?

Nothing, she's fine.

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Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

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What's the best part about dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere!!

How does Rhianna look after a date with Chris Brown?

White and gold.

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What is Stevie Wonder's favorite key to play in?

C minor

Why is Hollywood full of vampires?

They need someone to play the bit parts.