Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

What's the name of the car of a hipster batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

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Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What did the blind man say when he arrived at the fish market?

Hello, ladies."

What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured?

Icee."

Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a bear and a spider?

A six-legged, honey-lovin', web-spinnin'

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog

Quantum Jokes More Quantum Jokes

Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?

When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position.

How are a roof and quantum physics the same?

They both go over your head.

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

How is Reddit like fencing?

Ripostes everywhere.

What do white people and fences have in common?

They both get jumped by Mexicans.

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek ?

Fowl play !

Darth Vader Jokes More Darth Vader Jokes

Where does Darth Vader go shopping?

The Darth mall! haha, funny joke.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

Why did Jim Morrison overdose on drugs?

To get to the other side.

Why is Bill Cosby like the The Wizard of Oz?

Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby cos, because of the wonderful things he drugs