Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

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Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

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What's the name of the car of a hipster batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

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Trigger Nometry Jokes More Trigger Nometry Jokes

What is a feminist's least favourite Maths topic?

Trigger-nometry.

What's a feminist's favorite subject?

Trigger-nometry

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat?

You use a spirit level.

Why the hell would I use turn signals?

I know where we're going.

Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

Pumpkin Jokes More Pumpkin Jokes

What did the pumpkin say after waking up his family?

Awaken, my pump- "

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.

Dry Jokes More Dry Jokes

What do you call a group of elderly virgins?

Dried Cherries

What gets wetter the more you dry?

A woman on a tumble dryer! (Bet you thought I was gonna say 'a towel', didn't you, silly redditors )

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What do you call it when Wonder Woman does too many drugs?

Heroine overdose

What do you call someone who smokes two doobies at once?

Double jointed. What do you call someone who can smoke three at once? Dead. Don't do drugs.

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What did the blind man say to his old friend?

Ayy, long time no see!

What's a blind mans favorite car?

A cataract

Triangle Jokes More Triangle Jokes

What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan?

He needed somebody to cosine.

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry