Iraqi Jokes

What did the Iraqi boy say when his dad forgot his rucksack?

Baghdad!

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How do you clear out an Iraqi bingo parlour?

Call out "B-52"

How many children does it take to change a light bulb in America?

About 1 thousand Iraqis.

What's the name of the Iraqi basketball team?

Alley-oop Akbar

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

How do you play Iraqi bingo?

F18...B52...F18

Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes?

The first knows how to read the second knows how to write and the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

What do Iraqi men do that gets them laid on the first date?

They give their women awesome Dinar.

What do you call an Iraqi bodybuilder?

A Mosul man

What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car?

A Daeshboard

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What's the difference between an Iraqi elementary school, and an Isis hideout?

I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?

Two. One to launch it one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

What's the fastest way to end an Iraqi bingo game?

A:Call B52

What's the difference between a slice of toast and an Iraqi..?

You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast

What did the Iraqi refugee say when he crossed the border?

Iran!

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Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called?

Hurricanes with cataracts

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

Rucksack Jokes More Rucksack Jokes

What do you call man with.. What do you call man with a rucksack on his back and salt and pepper on his head?

A seasoned traveller.

What did the Iraqi boy say when his dad forgot his rucksack?

Baghdad!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the difference between a man and a woman?

A woman wants a man who can satisfy all her needs. A man wants all women who can satisfy his needs.

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?

Annette.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command.

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What do you call an aardvark that writes poems?

A bardvark!

Why don't southern belles go to orgies any more?

Too many thank you notes to write

Sniper Jokes More Sniper Jokes

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

Why can't you get drunk with a sniper?

Because they are usually done after one or two shots.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why do pill bottles have cotton in them?

To remind blacks in America that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

What is the difference between yoghurt and America?

When you leave yogurt alone it grows a culture!

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?

Gonna take a while to get me hard, I just got laid by a chick.

What did the chicken say after laying an egg?

Oeuf!"