Sniper Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

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How do snipers communicate online?

FaZebook.

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

Whore that was shot by a sniper?

360 hoscope

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Why can't you get drunk with a sniper?

Because they are usually done after one or two shots.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Slap her.

Hoot Jokes More Hoot Jokes

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

What happened when the owl lost his voice ?

He didn't give a hoot !

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents?

US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots.

What did the cop do when his Sergeant did not grant him the vacation he requested?

Shot a black man.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why was the mushroom a hit at parties?

Because he was a

What are we supposed to do about it?

Dad replies: "I don't know honey, but I think, hitting him would be very wrong."

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Serj Tankian cross the road?

because he wanted to...

What's the difference between HP computers and HP in a video game?

One of them you want to see a lot less of.

Sh Jokes More Sh Jokes

What is the difference between Donald and a peace of sh..?

NOTHING....!!!

What happened to the guy who replaced his laxatives with Prozac?

He didn't give a sh...

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the crip cross the road?

Chuz

What kind of bus can cross the ocean?

A Columbus.

Communist Jokes More Communist Jokes

What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?

Bernie sanders

Why did the communists trip over?

Because they were Russian!