Miss Piggy Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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Why was Miss Piggy sick for her show?

There was a frog in her throat.

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Which room will you be working out in?

Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.

Who do you call when your spacebar doesn't work?

A space engineer!

69 Jokes More 69 Jokes

Why does 71 like 68?

Because 68 69 70.

Why cant Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she ends up with a frog in her throat.

Kermit Jokes More Kermit Jokes

What's green, fuzzy, and stinks of pork?

Kermit the frog's finger

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

What room is missing from almost every house?

a Mushroom

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?

At 69 she always gets a frog in her throat.

What do Whitney Houston and Antarctica have in common?

100% chance of snow

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What's a redneck's favorite dating website?

Ancestry.com

Why did I need to bring a shovel on my first date?

Clearly the chloroform wasn't enough.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Where did the glue go on vacation?

Nowhere! He just stuck around!

What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?

Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)

End Jokes More End Jokes

How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?

If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.

What is mitosis?

Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam.