Partner Jokes

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Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

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How do you get your partner to give you head?

Put them in a guillotine.

What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common?

We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed.

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

is unwise, apparently.

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work?

Wake me up before you go-go

What do you do if your partner starts smoking?

Slow down. Use lube.

What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner?

Sedimentary my dear Watson!

How do you know when you have a high sperm count?

Your partner has to chew before swallowing...

Which detective investigates electrical crimes?

Sherlock Ohms That's why his partner is called Wattson...

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How can you tell if your sperm count is high?

Your partner has to chew before they swallow.

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Burger King Jokes More Burger King Jokes

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King?

He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

Why are Gorillas underpaid?

They're willing to work peanuts!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do ateists wear on their necks as an indication of their commitment to the atheism?

Head.

What do you call a terrorist holding an AK47 to your head?

Sir.

Software Developer Jokes More Software Developer Jokes

How can you tell when a Software Developer is an extrovert ?

He looks at shoes when he's talking to you.

Why do software developers make the best relationship partners?

because they're not afraid of committing.

Dairy Queen Jokes More Dairy Queen Jokes

Why did Burger King and Dairy Queen have a baby?

Because Burger King forgot to wrap up his Whopper

What do I have to do to get a margarita around here?

And that's when I got kicked out of Dairy Queen.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

Why do girls like nice guys?

Cause nice guys always finish last.

What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script?

Speechless

Hawaii Jokes More Hawaii Jokes

What do you call a party thrown by a Terrorist at a bar on a hot day in Hawaii?

A-lou-AK-bar.

How do you say hi to a Muslim in Hawaii?

Aloha Akbar.

Unwrap Jokes More Unwrap Jokes

Why do Mexicans make burritos?

So they can unwrap something for Christmas!

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ?

Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !