Traffic Jokes

Why did the chicken run out into traffic?

To get to the other side.

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Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

What do you call a deaf pokemon go player walking into traffic?

Anything you want they're not going to hear you.

What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

What did the guy on LSD say while driving on the highway?

Woah, the traffic is moving.

What do you call traffic in The Czech Republic?

Praguetory

What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?

ANKH ANKH!!

What's the best thing about North Korea?

The traffic.

What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic?

A: A PearlJam

Who is the brother of Juan Luna?

Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic. XD

What do cows do in traffic?

They moove

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Fine Jokes More Fine Jokes

Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?

He was caught poaching.

Why didn't the Seahawks give the ball to Marshawn Lynch?

They couldn't fined him.

Flash Jokes More Flash Jokes

What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?

A: The color.

What goes Vrrrooom-schreech, Vrrrooom-schreech, Vrrrooom-schreech?

A blonde at a flashing red light.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

How much is half of 8 Pupil: Up and down or across ?

Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Wellup and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0

What do Winnie the Pooh and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

The same middle name. (Shamelessly stolen from Cortana.)

Reaction Jokes More Reaction Jokes

What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

Why didn't kids make fun of argon in high school?

They never got a reaction out of him.

Theory Jokes More Theory Jokes

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

How does traffic form?

My theory is that it is a Protozoa Plankton

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails.

Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree?

Because they're stuck up

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.

Why are there only 49 Miss Black America contestants?

Because none of them want to be Miss. Idaho

Blonde Jokes More Blonde Jokes

Why did the blonde call the welfare office?

She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Need to know ASAP.