Well Jokes

Which fruit can't get married?

A can't elope. Or better yet None of them because of the lgbt movement.

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What is a better name for cows?

Lawn mooers! My 12 year old sister made this up... She out dad joked me..and I'm a dad!

Whats the difference between you and an orphan?

You were adopted. Best told to siblings :D

What do you call an Eastern European cashier?

A Checkoutslovakian. (Better said than read)

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Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?

If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!

What did you have on the wings of your plane?

Holes mostly..."

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

3 Hole Jokes More 3 Hole Jokes

What did the 3 holes in the ground say?

Well, well, well

What is round, heavy, has 3 holes, and is often found in a gutter?

My ex wife.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers?

Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What did the writer say when he glued himself to his book?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book?

He removed the appendix!

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

What do you call cows that are best friends?

Brovines.

What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend?

A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!

Burger Jokes More Burger Jokes

What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop?

A big mac*

How far do burgers go in school?

Through cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What's the difference between a Pizza and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up Pizza.

What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out