Workout Jokes

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

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What did the velociraptor say after his workout?

I'm a little dino-sore.

What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do?

Circuit training.

What's white and gives you a solid 9+ inches that gives you a workout every time?

Snow Storms

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents. I'll show myself out...

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French Press Jokes More French Press Jokes

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

What kind of coffee do terrorists hate?

French press. (Too soon?)

Cereal Jokes More Cereal Jokes

What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her?

Stop using Chex as a weapon!

What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal?

The one percent

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court?

He was charged with battery.

What do you call someone who keeps trying the same thing again and again, yet expects different results?

A weapons designer for the First Order.

Favorite Jokes More Favorite Jokes

What is Blackbeard and Captain Hooks favorite workout routine?

Pirates.

What is Macauley Culkins favorite salad dressing?

Neverland Ranch.

France Jokes More France Jokes

What's a barista in France's favorite workout?

A French press

Why is their always lightning in France?

Obviously, since lightning takes the path of least resistance.

T Rex Jokes More T Rex Jokes

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

Why can't the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's dead.

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders?

A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing their from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know " whenever you ask them a question.

What do you call 5 guys who have no arms or legs and a woman floating in the water together?

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Ann

Shaken Jokes More Shaken Jokes

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout?

I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.