Workout Jokes

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

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What did the velociraptor say after his workout?

I'm a little dino-sore.

What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do?

Circuit training.

What's white and gives you a solid 9+ inches that gives you a workout every time?

Snow Storms

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents. I'll show myself out...

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's black and doesn't work in an office?

Decaf coffee!

What's black and does not work?

Decaf Coffee

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why did the black guy get mad at the pirate?

He dropped the hard 'arrrrrr.'

What did the pirate say when he saw a woman giving head?

There she blows!!!

James Bond Jokes More James Bond Jokes

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

How does James Bond type e-mails?

With his goldfinger.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None: Taureans don't like to change anything.

Why do programmers like to concatenate time stamps?

It's the only way they can get a string of dates.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

What would you call Jesus if he was born in Mexico?

The Chosen Juan.

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

What does Bob the spider do for a living?

He's a web developer.

What do you call a Syrian refugee on the Mediterranean?

What do you call a Syrian refugee on the Mediterranean? Bob What does a Syrian refugee call their pet? Dinner What's grosser than gross? Two Syrian refugees fighting over a tampon.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry ?

An aero-drone !

What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?

A: Rep Tiles

French Press Jokes More French Press Jokes

Why do jihadists drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the french press...

What kind of coffee do the Islamists hate the most ?

French press