Blast Jokes

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

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What did the older terrorist say to the younger terrorist before he headed out for a party?

Go on, have a blast.

Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy?

I heard everybody had a blast.

What does an astronaut do when he gets angry?

He blasts off:

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?

Because they've just had a big launch.

Who makes the best Astronauts?

Team Rocket since they're always blasting off.

Why did the terrorist go to Sonic?

To have a Blast!

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

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Door Jokes More Door Jokes

What did the knob say to the door?

I LOCK you a lot! yep, its corny, indeed, but... I'm tryin'! Skip

What does a suburban neighbourhood do if there's a blackout?

They lock their doors and windows.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why are condoms like cameras?

they both capture the moment.

Why are condoms transparent?

A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

Shotgun Jokes More Shotgun Jokes

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

What did the astronaut get on his science project?

He received a T minus.

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

Space Jokes More Space Jokes

What do you call a starving robot from space?

A C3POpian

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space ?

He wanted to find Pluto !

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

Why did everybody where white pants at The Masters?

Dustin Johnson sneezed.

Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!

Bomb Jokes More Bomb Jokes

What is the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

Whats the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

Having to drop the bomb on them twice before they get it.

Bang Jokes More Bang Jokes

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

How do you know when the drummer has shown up for band practice?

He won't stop banging at the door.