Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you want to have next?

Me: a vasectomy

What does DJ Kahled say when he wants another taco?

Another, Juan

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why divorce now after all this time together?

Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.

What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand?

Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

Because he needed his space.

What do you call an Asian woman on the moon?

an Astronaut

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

Why do Italian men grow moustaches?

They want to look like their mothers.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How did the scientist like his guacamole?

With lots of Avogadro!

Why do pigs like February 14th?

They get lots of Valenswines.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps?

New Jersey got to choose first

Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up?

He was charged with battery.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What happened to you?

the doctor asks. "I stepped on something."

What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?

Doctors without boarders.

Nascar Jokes More Nascar Jokes

Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?

They told him he was good at deriving

What is Zoolander's least favourite sport?

Nascar If you can even call it a sport.

Nascar Driver Jokes More Nascar Driver Jokes

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright."