Access Jokes

What's the difference between USB and USA?

One connects to all your devices and access your data, one connects to all your devices and access your data.

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What's the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard

What do a stoner lost in the desert and Bolivia have in common?

They're both really high and have no access to water.

How do trees access the internet?

They log on

Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank?

So you always have access to cold hard cash...

What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.

Who is your most disgruntled employee?

and "2: Does he have access to a mask shop "

Why should every woman know a C++ programmer?

Because they'll always let friends access their private members. Ba dum tiss.

How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?

One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why is a rat when it spins?

The higher it flies, the much.

What do you call a sick eagle that just flew in from out of the country?

an ill-eagle immigrant

Ba Dum Jokes More Ba Dum Jokes

Why should every woman know a C++ programmer?

Because they'll always let friends access their private members. Ba dum tiss.

What's the worst time of the year for the Slinkies factory?

Spring break. BA DUM TISS

Bolivia Jokes More Bolivia Jokes

What do a stoner lost in the desert and Bolivia have in common?

They're both really high and have no access to water.

Who's there ! Bolivia ! Boliva who ?

Boliva me I know what I'm talking about !

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What can we do to stop polluting our waters ?

Pupil: Stop taking baths

What is dry on the outside filled with water and blows up buildings ?

A fish tank !

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?

2 Na!

How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?

A: Shoot one.

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What do you call the device that keeps an Armenian man safe?

A Serj Protector.

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Who loses in a basketball game between two Vietnamese guys?

No one... its Nguyen Nguyen!

What do you call the teacher who lost her baby?

Miss Carriage

Dentist Jokes More Dentist Jokes

Why do only 99.9% of dentists recommend Listerine?

Because the other .1% is too busy out hunting lions

What does a dentist do in his free time?

Shoot lions.