Bank Jokes

Why is a river really rich?

Its got two banks.

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Why did the football coach return to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

What do you call a midget psychic that just robbed a bank?

Small medium at large

Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

What does a bunny do to a bank?

Rabbit

What do you call ice cream that robs a bank?

Heist cream Got to give credit to my friend, who sadly dosent have reddit.

What belongs in the bank and doesn't exist?

My tax refund.

Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback!!

Why did I rob the bank?

For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.

Why did the football go to the bank?

to get is quarterback.

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Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank?

So you always have access to cold hard cash...

Why did the Irish call their currency the "Punt" ?

Because it rhymes with Bank Manager

What did Michael Jackson say at the bank?

Make that change"

Who is the richest person in the Bible?

The Pharao's daughter. She went to the bank of the Nile to pick up a little prophet.

Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?

A. The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

What do you call it when a group of ghosts rob a bank?

A polterheist.

Why wasn't the fella able to get out when he fell in the river?

Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed

Where does a river keep it's money?

At the bank.

What happened when a heart robs a bank?

It gets put under cardiac arrest.

What bank do birds open accounts with?

The one with the most branches!

Why can't you keep secrets in a bank?

Because of all the tellers.

What do banks and the US government have in common?

They both deal with checks and balances.

Why did the schoolteacher who was in love with head of the school take out a loan with the bank?

A: Because she had an interest in the principal.

What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started its own branch

Why did the baker rob the bank?

He needed the dough.

Why couldn't the giraffe get a job at the bank?

They weren't hiring.

Why do you want to work in a bank Alan?

Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it sir.

What did the getaway driver do after his accomplice, Rice, robbed the bank?

Pilaf.

What do you call an obese psychic that works at a bank?

A four chin teller

Why was the robber bionic?

He was holding up a bank.

Who robs banks and squirts ink?

Billy the Squid.

What do you call a psychic midget that just robbed a bank?

Small medium at large

Why does the addict avoid going to the bank?

Because he suffers from cash withdrawals.

Why did the football player go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

Who's there ! Andrew ! Andrew who ?

Andrew all her money out of the bank !

Which is the only bank that drug tests all of its employees?

PNC

Who's there ! Checkmate ! Checkmate who ?

Checkmate bounce if you don't have money in the bank !

How do you expect us to loan you money if you can't prove to us that you don't need it?

Banks

Why couldn't the teller comprehend the bank robber?

He was bad at stickup lines.

What's the name of your former bank?

I said, "Piggy"

Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

Because he cleaned out the vault.

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Why did a Hispanic man rob a train?

He had loco motives!

How do you know if a Chinese man has robbed your house?

Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later, he's still trying to back out of your driveway.

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What's a European immigrant's favorite high school sport?

Cross country

What country has the most internet crimes?

E-gypt

Contain Jokes More Contain Jokes

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

America Jokes More America Jokes

What is the difference between joghurt and America?

If you leave joghurt alone for 200 years, it will grow a culture!

What's the difference between yogurt and America?

Yogurt could develop a culture after 200 years

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?

ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!

What difference does an "A" make?

Between NASA and NSA--it's astronomical.

World Jokes More World Jokes

What does a woman want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

How do you shut down all the nuclear reactors in the world?

Tell the FineBros. about them

River Jokes More River Jokes

What did the ocean say to the river?

You can run but you can't tide."

How do you spell Mississippi?

Redneck: Which one The river or the state

Loan Shark Jokes More Loan Shark Jokes

Where's my money?

a loan shark "Where are my friends - alone shark

What did Jaws call his solo banking firm?

Loan shark.