Beer Jokes

How do you change root beer in to a beer?

Put it in a square cup

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What does an alcoholic do when he is out of beer?

Wine

What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?

A: "Have another beer."

What am I gonna do with a river?

Could you cry me a beer

What happens to a woman who falls down the stairs?

Nothing, as long as she doesn't drop my beers

Why didn't Ahmadinejad have a beer?

He wasn't in the MahMoud.

What's the difference between a beer and a down syndrome kid?

If you end up with a badly poured beer you can blow it's head off.

What's the difference between having a badly poured draft beer and having a child with Down's Syndrome?

If the head's too big on your beer, you can blow it off.

Why are bunnies so good at brewing?

Cause beer is made with hops.

What is a toad's favorite kind of beer?

One with a lot of hops.

What is the difference between wealth and poverty?

And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'

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A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

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Color Jokes More Color Jokes

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

How does Bono spell color?

With or without "u"

Root Beer Jokes More Root Beer Jokes

How do you make a hippopotamus float?

2 hippos and a LOT of root beer.

What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer. (tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

What's red and green and spins round &amp round &amp round?

A frog in a blender.

Beer Bottle Jokes More Beer Bottle Jokes

What did one empty beer bottle say to the other?

I'm drunk."

Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?

They are for those who don't drink!

Square Cup Jokes More Square Cup Jokes

What do you get when you add root beer to a square cup?

Beer.

How do you change root beer in to a beer?

Put it in a square cup

Beer Nut Jokes More Beer Nut Jokes

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?

beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck... I'll see myself out now.

Lunch Jokes More Lunch Jokes

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

Where do young cows eat lunch?

In the calf-ateria.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the carpenter join the army?

Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant

Why are there only 49 'Black Miss America' contestants?

Because none of them want to be Miss I-da-ho