Borrow Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one :3

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What's the one movie that Rick Astley won't let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up.

What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.

What do you call it when a bison borrows money from you?

A buffa

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

Why is there a broom in the driveway?

me: So your mom doesn't have to borrow the car

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the one movie Rick won't ever let you borrow?

He won't ever give you *Up*. No I'll show myself out . . .

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

How did OJ respond when his son asked to borrow the car?

gtOnly if you go aks your mother.

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Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?

Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

taking out a provoloan

What are some products of the West Indies?

Student: I don't know. Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

What happened after the man borrowed a sad movie from his friend?

He lost it.

What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini?

You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.

Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

The bear hug!

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic?

Wait for him to give it back.

What's the worst part of locking your keys in the car by the abortion clinic?

Having to go inside and ask to borrow a coat hanger

This joke may have profanity.

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They were too constricting.

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Take your girl and your dog, and lock them in the back of a car, return in 5 hours, which one do you think will be happy to see you?

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Don't look I'm changing!

Why did the cat sleep under the car ?

Because she wanted to wake up oily !

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What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?

A: A chainsaw can be tuned.

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?

A: The bow is moving.

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What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?

Hard cheese.

Why couldn't Ray Charles see his friends?

Because he was married

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How did Canada get its name?

They picked random letters out of a hat. C.... eh? N... eh? D....eh?

What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, I'll go on ahead...."

Dove Jokes More Dove Jokes

What's the difference between a Dove and a Turkey?

One has a coo, the other has a coup

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

Who, what, when, where and why?

English teachers and Alzheimer's patients

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

What do you call a rainbow of Jeeps in the driveway?

Roy Jeep Biv

What does Drew Carey have in his driveway?

Cleveland Rocks!