Borrow Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one :3

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What's the one movie that Rick Astley won't let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up.

What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.

What do you call it when a bison borrows money from you?

A buffa

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

Why is there a broom in the driveway?

me: So your mom doesn't have to borrow the car

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the one movie Rick won't ever let you borrow?

He won't ever give you *Up*. No I'll show myself out . . .

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

How did OJ respond when his son asked to borrow the car?

gtOnly if you go aks your mother.

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Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?

Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

taking out a provoloan

What are some products of the West Indies?

Student: I don't know. Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

What happened after the man borrowed a sad movie from his friend?

He lost it.

What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini?

You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.

Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

The bear hug!

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic?

Wait for him to give it back.

What's the worst part of locking your keys in the car by the abortion clinic?

Having to go inside and ask to borrow a coat hanger

This joke may have profanity.

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Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?

He cut all his fingers off !

What did the man say to the priest at the beach?

Do you mind getting out of my son.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

Bison Jokes More Bison Jokes

What is it called when you give money to a plains bison?

A buffaloan!

What does a buffalo says to his son before going to school?

Bison

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

Why are people in wheelchairs always getting taken advantage of?

Because they're easy to push around and never stand up for themselves

What do you get when you cross the world's most famous skater with the world's best physicist?

A video game so realistic, when you screw up you have to play in a wheelchair.

Sax Jokes More Sax Jokes

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

P.S. Jokes More P.S. Jokes

What's an Xbox fanboys' least favourite film?

P.S. I Love You

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know P.S. are these type of tongue twister jokes allowed here If not i will happily remove it.

Oj Jokes More Oj Jokes

What would be the worst meal for a football wife?

OJ and Rice

How did OJ respond when his son asked to borrow the car?

gtOnly if you go aks your mother.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people?

Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.