Tune Jokes

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

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How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player?

He kept trying to tune her G string.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?

You can tune a chainsaw.

How do you make two Oboists play in tune with one another?

Shoot one of them.

What was Beethoven's favorite food?

BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.

What's the definition of a quarter tone?

A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

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What's the difference between tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right ... the tuna fish!

What type of fish needs to be tuned?

Tune a fish

How do you tune a fish?

With its scales!

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?

A: The bow is moving.

Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic?

He wanted to get his Car tuned

What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?

A: A chainsaw can be tuned.

What does a tuna, a glue stick, and a piano have not have in common?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!

Why do choirs keep buckets handy?

So they can carry their tune

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