Tune Jokes

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player?

He kept trying to tune her G string.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?

You can tune a chainsaw.

How do you make two Oboists play in tune with one another?

Shoot one of them.

What was Beethoven's favorite food?

BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.

What's the definition of a quarter tone?

A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right ... the tuna fish!

What type of fish needs to be tuned?

Tune a fish

How do you tune a fish?

With its scales!

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?

A: The bow is moving.

Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic?

He wanted to get his Car tuned

What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?

A: A chainsaw can be tuned.

What does a tuna, a glue stick, and a piano have not have in common?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!

Why do choirs keep buckets handy?

So they can carry their tune

You might also enjoy:

Borrow Jokes More Borrow Jokes

What's the one movie Rick won't ever let you borrow?

He won't ever give you *Up*. No I'll show myself out . . .

What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

taking out a provoloan

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What did the oyster say to the fish who stole it's shell?

Stop being shellfish!" *drops microphone, walks away*

How many Mormons do you take fishing with you?

Two. If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.

Blind Jokes More Blind Jokes

What does the blind say when he walks past the fish market?

Hello ladies.

How do you blind an Asian?

Put a windshield in front of them

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between the substance inside a fire hydrant and the substance on the outside of it?

H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside.

What's the difference between a green bean chickpea?

No one has ever paid to have a green bean on their chest

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

What kind of music does a factory worker listen to?

Industrial Metal

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

How many black guys does it take to do the work of one white guy?

It depends on how big his plantation is.

What do older women wear?

Depends

Saxophone Jokes More Saxophone Jokes

What do women and saxophones have in common?

They both blow and make different noises when you finger them.

What kind of phone makes music?

A saxophone.

5th Jokes More 5th Jokes

Where's the 5th?

FG: Cinq.

Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.