Con Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches?

On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch.

What's a good thing about a novelist conman?

He may have a lot of cons, but he also has a lot of prose.

What's the best thing about a poet in a prison?

Oh you know, it has its prose and cons. Badum Tish. Be gentle, first time here.

What's the opposite of pro?

Con. So what's the opposite of progress

Who's there ! Con ! Con who?

Con unhinged !

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

What is the opposite of pro?

Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.

What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison?

One's a pro, and one's a con.

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Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

Where'd you get the pig"?

Woman: "How DARE you call my dog that!" Man: "I was talking to the dog!"

What do you call a pig making cookies?

Bakin'!

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

Where do you see yourself in three years?

Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision

What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops?

Justin Bieber gets jealous.

Permission Jokes More Permission Jokes

What do you call a drunk executioner?

A dun-GIN keeper. Edit: You have my permission to post this on r/dadjokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

What did the Mexican shopkeeper say to the thief?

That's Nachos.

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money

Flight Jokes More Flight Jokes

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane

Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow crash?

There were Poles on the right half of the plane.

Snarky Criminal Jokes More Snarky Criminal Jokes

What do you call a snarky criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you call a snarky criminal walking down stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Stair Jokes More Stair Jokes

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

What do you get when you throw a Canadian down a flight of stairs?

An apology.

Arrow Jokes More Arrow Jokes

What do you call a field used to grow bows and arrows?

An archerd.

What's the difference between Ann Coulter and shooting arrows at lovers?

Shooting arrows at lovers is a Cupid stunt.