Flight Jokes

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

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What do you call a flight commandeered by pirates?

A peg leg.

What do you call a pretentious criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending condescending

What do you call a snarky criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you get when you throw a Canadian down a flight of stairs?

An apology.

What's the difference between a cloths hanger and a flight of stairs?

The cloths hanger only solves one problem.

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw silverware down a flight of stairs....ting, tong, ping, ding

How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?

None. He "fell".

How long is the flight?

A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

What is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs?

Be sharp or Be flat.

Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow crash?

There were Poles on the right half of the plane.

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Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight?

He brought the wrong carrion.

How do you get rid of somebody?

Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!

How did the Somali terrorist describe his flight?

It was dynamite!"

Why so angry, you cute little fella?

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

How does a flight of steps check out a woman?

It stares.

What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?

They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

What is black and white and screams?

A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs.

What do you call in-flight pilot training?

Air conditioning.

How to climb a flight of stairs?

Step one Step two Step three

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane

How much does a flight to Rio cost?

A Brazilian dollars.

How does a Chinese family name their children?

They throw 3-9 pots and pans down a flight of stairs.

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What do you call a mooner on the last overnight flight?

A red-eye

Why did the Fonz have red eyes?

Because he had fever!

Chicago Jokes More Chicago Jokes

Where do wind gusts go to on dates?

To Chicago

What does the flint water crises and Chicago PD have in common?

The amount of lead put into black people. (It was funnier over the radio)

Snarky Criminal Jokes More Snarky Criminal Jokes

What do you call a snarky criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Condescend Jokes More Condescend Jokes

What do you call an arrogant robber?

a condescending condescending

What do you call an arrogant criminal falling down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why don't black pitchers throw three strikeout in a row?

Because they don't believe in the KKK

Why did Timmy fall off his bike?

Because Bill threw a mattress at him.

Edward Jokes More Edward Jokes

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

Cloth Jokes More Cloth Jokes

What did one bolt of cloth say to the other bolt of cloth after hurting its feelings?

I'm sari.

What's the best way to wipe a computer server?

A cloth.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up

What's a Canadian's favorite footwear?

Aboot