Ear Jokes

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

Shine a flashlight in their ear.

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What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?

Anything you want to - it can't here you!

What do you call a huge ugly slobbering furry monster with cotton wool in his ears?

Anything you like he can't hear you.

What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?

A. "Thanks for the refill!"

When does one play a corny game?

You play it by ear.

What do you call fifty blondes lined up ear-to-ear?

A: A wind tunnel. #ThugLyfe

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray... (Ill see myself out)

How can you tell someone is a true music lover?

A: When they even put their ear up to the bathroom keyhole.

What has ears but cannot hear?

A field of corn.

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How long have we been married dear?

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Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

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Why didn't Spock do a mind meld with Frodo?

Because he figured that would be a bad hobbit to get in to.

What did Spock find in the Enterprises's toilet?

The captain's log!

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What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a bunch of Lesbians in a closet?

A liquor cabinet.

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What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What do you call a tick on the moon?

A lunatic.

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Why do so many lunatics have ear infections?

Because they're ear-rash-ional.

What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ?

Don't bite any witches !

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What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

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What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel.

How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it?

You knock on the door.

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How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A buck 'n ear

How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck an ear.