Eminem Jokes

Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack?

Eminem.

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Why was dyslexic Eminem put in a cage?

He was startin' to feel like a rap dog, rap dog.

What is Eminem's favourite food?

wraps

Why did Taco Bell hire Eminem?

Because he's a Wrap God

What kind of dinosaur would Eminem be?

A veloci-rapper. What about Stalin? A Tyrant-a-saurus rex.

Why did Eminem make a terrible barista?

Because he kept insisting everyone only get one shot.

When does Eminem leave school?

Aftermath

What happens to Eminem when he dies?

I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?

What did Eminem say when his label spelled his name wrong?

It doesn't Mather.

What is Eminem made of?

He is made of Mathers

What does Eminem and a Tumblr SJW have in common?

See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out"

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What's a rapper's favorite candy?

Eminems.

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

What did Eminem learn to defend himself?

Marshall arts.

What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?

Shady's back*

Why did Bin Laden listen to Eminem?

He was an Afghani-Stan.

Why was Osama Bin Laden obsessed with Eminem?

He was an Afghani-Stan.

What are 5 "Ms" from Detroit?

GM, Eminem and Michael Moore.

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Stalin Jokes More Stalin Jokes

Why did the Kremlin sacrifice 8.7 million soldiers during WWII?

They were just Stalin for time.

Why did the cold war last so long?

The US couldn't stop Stalin.

Dinosaur Jokes More Dinosaur Jokes

What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo?

A: Bronco-saurus!

How did one dinosaur insult the other?

Yo mama so stupid she gets excited seeing a shooting star.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

What do you call a Scotsman who works in a cloakroom?

Angus McCoatup

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of money do they use on superman's home planet?

Kryptocurrency

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?

Decom-pose.

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

Why did John F. Kennedy take a cab home?

Because he had too many shots.

Why did the bros take a shot of alcohol together?

Because if one bro takes a shot, the other takes a slug! #Bromanceforlife #Dietogether

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the music industry talent scout take a course in game programming?

He thought it would help him with his hit detection.

Why Don't Black People like Country Music?

Because everytime theres a Hoedown, they think one of their sisters got shot.

Taco Bell Jokes More Taco Bell Jokes

Why won't Caitlyn Jenner go to Taco Bell?

She doesn't want another Bell not accepting her for who she is.

What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?

Taco Bell.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the roman cannibal feel about his victim?

He was glad he ate her.

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...