Envelope Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope!

What did the mailman ask his girlfriend?

Will you envelope with me? (I know its Corny, but it makes me chuckle.)

What type of animals are put on envelopes?

Seals.

How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

Why are envelopes and papers white?

Because blackmail is illegal.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!"

What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?

Envelope!

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?

envelope

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

What 8-letter word has one letter in it?

Envelope.

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You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Don't ask me about the bucket of glue though... I've been stuck there for a while

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What is it called when brown envelopes aren't delivered as quickly as white ones?

White Mail Privilege

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They have white mail privilege.

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What's that, turkey?

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A frothel

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What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Why couldn't the Jedi open the door?

He didn't use enough force...

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How do single people honor valentine's day?

By Celibating!

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

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What do these shoes do?

GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame tries new pair And these G: Wait- D: clicks heels turns into hamburger

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God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

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Why is your face all scratched ?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !

What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients?

Omelette you figure it out

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How many calls do I get?

cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

Which famous pop duo were the best at delivering cereal?

Haulin' Oates