G Jokes

How is your day going?

G- Pretty well, Do you want me to walk you back? B- walk me back? G- to the friendzone you just tried to escape.

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Why didn't Sug Knight talk to the police?

Because the g is silent

How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the G.

What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions?

An emo-g

What's the capital of Greece?

The G

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What's a Christian's favourite chord progression?

G,Esus.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day?

G u knit

What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?

Automobile.

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What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

GINGER.

How do you make one girl disappear?

just add a G and now she's gone.

How'd you find out?

G:"I'm on both."

Why did the skeletons start dancing?

Because they forgot the g in graveyard.

What does a Sparkle magazine model call her g-spot?

Her glitterus

This joke may have profanity.

Why did H blow itself up?

Because G had.

Why the letter "G" is scary?

In one fine evening it can turn your host into . . . GHOST.

Why isn't the word gangster pronounced Jang-ster?

Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'

What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G?

Nightmares you racist.

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

How do you make the number one disappear?

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!

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Escape Jokes More Escape Jokes

How did the hairdresser escape?

John Frieda.

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&ampT jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

What do you call the day after a sad Friday?

A sadder day.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

How about if I put a balloon over it?

Would you touch it then " -guy who invented condoms

What do black guys have that's double the size of white men and gets bigger every time they touch a woman?

A. Their criminal record

Golf Ball Jokes More Golf Ball Jokes

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G spot?

A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why shouldn't you date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

Why is a dance like a bowl of cereal?

They are both more enjoyable with dates!

N Jokes More N Jokes

Why do white people think they can say the N word?

Because it is the only thing left that still belongs to black people.

What 11 letter word does every Yale graduate spell incorrectly?

I n c o r r e c t l y

Emo Jokes More Emo Jokes

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

Why don't you buy drugs from an Emo?

Their stuff is always cut.

Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.