Grocery Jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

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Where do farm animals get their groceries?

The pharmacy.

Where do crows go to buy groceries?

Kroger

How does a ninja shop for groceries?

No one knows.

Why is Hannibal so rich?

Well, he save on groceries.

Where do Americans buy their groceries in Afghanistan?

At the infideli counter.

Where does Jane Fonda buy her groceries?

Traitor Joe's.

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

Where is Benedict Arnold's favorite place to shop for groceries?

Traitor Joe's

Why did the forgetful Mexican cross the road?

To get to the other side... err, no it was to pick up the laundry... nope, to get groceries? I forget.

Where do dogs shop for groceries?

Wagmans.

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Where do people in Detroit get their groceries?

They don't.

What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries?

A one trip pony :D

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Where does the military commander buy his groceries?

the GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY

Where do safari animals buy their groceries?

From the supermeerkat

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Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What do you call food between two slices of bread?

a sandwich

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?

Snakes and Larders !sna

Plastic Jokes More Plastic Jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car?

A Daeshboard

Farm Animal Jokes More Farm Animal Jokes

Which two farm animals are the dirtiest?

Brown chicken brown cow..

Where do farm animals get their groceries?

The pharmacy.

Purchase Jokes More Purchase Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many palindromes do I know of?

Not a ton

What can I get you to drink?

Pepsi" Is Peps- Uh one moment please In kitchen, to manager I don't know, he just said Pepsi. What do I do

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.

What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Grocery Bag Jokes More Grocery Bag Jokes

What is the difference between michael jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

What's the best time to visit your Chinese dentist?

Tooth hurty

Why didn't you visit Chad?

Cause he wasn't my Niger.