Ho Jokes

What does a pimp and a redneck have on common?

They both like to throw a ho-down.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa knows to stop after three Ho's.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops after three ho's.

What song does a dwarf pimp sing?

high ho's, high ho's, it's off to work I go

What do you call a skank playing "H.O.R.S.E?

She missed two shots, so she's a ho. I'll leave now.

How could the pimp always easily locate his ho?

Because, she really stands out on the street.

What is the biggest difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa stops at three Ho's

What does the bee Santa Claus say ?

Ho hum hum !

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!

What's the difference between Santa and a black man?

Santa stops after the third Ho

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What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?

Black mail !

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What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

A: They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.

What do pimples and catholic priests have in common?

They both start coming on boys' faces around age 13.

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Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.

What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ?

You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you.

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Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

What do you call a Psychic Compromise?

A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing.

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How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?

A. So they can find their way back to the house.

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What is she doing?

the pal asks. "Waiting for me to get home."

What'd you do?

PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You ME: I talked to like 4 people.

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When Shall We Meet Again ?

by Miles Apart

What do you say if you meet someone from Anonymous in an S&amp?

M club? "Troll in the dungeon!"

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What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified