Ill Jokes

What do you say when your ex has broken up with you?

Ill call you tomorow

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Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

What do you call a pirate's helicopter?

An Eye-patchy helicopter! . Ill show myself out.

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

Why was the russian airforce less superior than their enemies?

Cause their airplanes kept STALIN!! (Ill see myself out...)

What do you call a sick dictator?

Kim Jong-ILL . . . . . Ill show myshelf out...

Why can't you run in camp sites?

Its 'ran', because it's past tents... Ill see myself out.

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray... (Ill see myself out)

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Hint Jokes More Hint Jokes

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not "nacho cheese")?

Leave my provolone!

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

How do you call it when an egg is on point?

Egg zactly!

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What do you call a story about a broken-down computer mouse?

Depressing. **crickets**

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

Norse God Jokes More Norse God Jokes

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

How did the Norse god of mischief celebrate his birthday?

With a low-key event

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't I trust my Walmart calculator?

It's always 7% off.

Why should you never trust soap?

It's an emulsive lyer.

Terminal Illness Jokes More Terminal Illness Jokes

Why was the airport depressed?

It had a terminal illness.

What do you call a virus that affects your command-line?

A Terminal Illness.

Airplane Jokes More Airplane Jokes

Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane?

Do I really have to answer that Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel

Why did the airplane fall out of the sky?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Cure Jokes More Cure Jokes

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.