Pew Jokes

What's the difference between a church and a mosque?

In a church you see pew, pew pew. In a mosque you hear pew pew pew.

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What happened to the guy who farted in church?

He sat in his own pew.

Why do Storm Troopers like churchs?

Cuz of all the pews. I hate myself

What does a laser in a church sound like?

Pew pew pew!

What does a church shooting sound like?

Pew! Pew!

What's a storm trooper's favorite pollster?

Pew! Pew! Pew!

Where do Tie Fighters sit in church?

In the *pew*.

What Happens when you fart in church?

You sit in your own pew

What sounds does a vicar's gun make?

Pew! Pew!

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What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

What happens if you upset a cannibal?

You get into hot water.

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What does a laser in a church sound like?

Pew pew pew!

Why was the laser sad?

All his gas is Argon.

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Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset?

Because you didn't ask him what band he's in.

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

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What does a Muslim have if they hate their god?

An Allahgy

What do you call a tree that hates this joke?

A face palm.

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What's the difference between a church and a mosque?

In a church you see pew, pew pew. In a mosque you hear pew pew pew.

What does a laser in a church sound like?

Pew pew pew!

Fighter Jokes More Fighter Jokes

Where do Tie Fighters sit in church?

In the *pew*.

How do you congratulate a fighter after winning a match?

Good jab.

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What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?

A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

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What is the difference between Coors Light and a lake?

The can

What's the difference between a flatfish and a good woman?

The fish doesn't know it's plaice.