Pond Jokes

How does a duck swim from one side of the pond to the other?

Very Quackly

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What's yellow and lies in a pond?

Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in english. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.

What are you doing here?

I just got fired from the circus "Oh my" Yeah, the calibration on my cannon was way off. I landed in your pond

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream?

A: Wet feet.

How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?

A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

What do you get if you cross a pond with snowshoes?

Wet.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the last thing Beethoven accomplished?

Decomposing

What was the last thing the snowboarder ever said?

Hey guys, watch this!"

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

What do you call a duck that's a drug addict?

A quack-head.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ?

Because it had a hole in the middle.

What do Winnie the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common?

The same middle name.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What joke has recieved the most upvotes on Reddit?

Redditors.

Why did the dad say the joke instead of act it out?

Because it was cheesier said than done.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What's the difference between a firstborn prince and a baseball?

A baseball is thrown to the air.

What did Anne Frank say when she threw a ball at the water fowl's head?

Duck!

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A:('A jump rope')"

What do you call a Mexican that can't cross the border?

A Mexi

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why were Popeye's forearms so big?

Because Olive Oyl was saving herself for marriage.

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

Goose Jokes More Goose Jokes

What do you call a group of goose haunting you?

A poltergeest

How do you get a kid to stay low to the ground?

DUCK!" How do you get a kid up and running "GOOSE!"