Shore Jokes

What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish

Why does the Coast Guard have a 6 foot height requirement?

So when their ship sinks they can walk back to shore.

Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?

She wanted to wash up on shore

What would Jesus do?

is an unfair question. He had superpowers. Your lifeboat is sinking. WWJD Well, he'd get out and walk to shore. See

Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?

A: To promote off-shore drilling.

Why be it that land-lubbers are never confident?

For they are always on shore...

What do the Syrian refugees and water have in common?

They both keep trying to get on our shores....

What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date?

Shore.

What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

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Gym Jokes More Gym Jokes

Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

Why did the arsonist go to the gym?

To burn some calories.

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

What's the worst vegetable to have on a boat?

A leek.

What do you call a boat made out of corn?

A: A tortilla ship!

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?

He was a little shoat.

What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect?

A: Everything's $100.

Ship Jokes More Ship Jokes

What kind of ship never sinks?

A dictatorship. *sobs*

What does the European say to the black couple?

I ship them

Row Jokes More Row Jokes

What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.

What has 99 legs and one tooth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him?

Shoots him 8 times in the black.

What is the difference between Elliot Rodgers and Malaysia Airlines?

Malaysia Airlines only has been shot down once.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How are women and linoleum floors alike?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans?

Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

How does John Marston take a shower?

1st he gets nice and wet, then he dies of drowning

What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom?

Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.