Sing Jokes

Why can't the insecure fish sing well?

He's never comfortable in his own scales.

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What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy ?

I must throw that doggie out the window !"!

What do Egyptian kings sing on their birthday?

For he's a jolly good Pharaoh. Was that bad Ye, pharaoh-nuff

What old-time song is the burgers' favourite?

Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?

because Sam sung better than him

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?

Happy Birthday to MOO Happy Birthday to Moo

What's the difference between a black person and a bicycle tire?

The bicycle tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

What chews on trees and sings?

Justin Beaver

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What happens if you sing country music backwards?

A: You get your job and your wife back.

Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs?

Not Mariah Carey

Which song would an exception sing?

Can't catch me - Avicii

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Beyonc Jokes More Beyonc Jokes

What did Jay-Z call Beyonc before they were married?

Fiance

Why did Beyonc sing "to the left, to the left"?

Because black people don't have rights.

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

Why do Americans weight lift in tank tops?

Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms.

Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side?

A: She didn't know where to buy Left Guard!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.

Whats the difference between Caesar and Casanova?

Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered." Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came."

Mount Rushmore Jokes More Mount Rushmore Jokes

What's a rock group with four guys that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore

Which four-member rock group doesn't sing or play music?

Mount Rushmore.

6 Jokes More 6 Jokes

What's the difference between a 6 month old and a 20 year old?

About 6 garbage bags and 30 gallons of formaldehyde.

Why was Star Wars shot Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of directing, Yoda was

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the blind paraplegic get for Christmas?

cancer.

What does a writer hope to get in a Christmas cracker?

A Pull-it-surprise!

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

What do you call a thousand lawyers, chained to the bottom of the ocean?

A start.

What's the difference between snow tires and slaves?

Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness