Situation Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation?

Irrelelephant.

What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

What are you doing, idiot?

me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone?

An oncologist

Why did the vampire go to the doctors?

Because he was coffin...

Event Jokes More Event Jokes

What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?

A Dubaistander. Yeah I thought of it myself.

What do you call a snake that studies past events?

A HISSSSStorian.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why is Santa Claus always a man?

Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion.

What's the difference between a man falling from 100ft and a man falling from 10ft ?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - SMACK SMACK - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What asks no question but demands an answer?

A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

What did the lawyer say to the sovereign citizen when asked for legal counsel?

Am I being retained ** **Am I being retained **

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What makes a little bit of sense, but you'll never understand?

Hobos

What has 2 legs but doesn't use them?

A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What's the difference between r/politics and r/liberal?

None

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What's worse than having 10 dead babies stapled to one tree?

1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees.

What do 1% of racist people do?

They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes

Match Jokes More Match Jokes

Why is the dating app called Tinder?

When you left-swipe, all of your matches go up in flames.

What do Aaron Hernandez and Jared Fogle now have in common?

Matching uniforms.