Spy Jokes

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

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What's the NSA's favourite game?

I spy.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover

Who is both a knight and a spy?

Sir Veillance

Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he never really was on your side.

Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student?

An essay.

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

A: By moss code.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Why do spies never use capitalization?

They like to stay low-key.

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What do the Chinese call their spies?

Secret Asians.

Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

Why did the spy cross the border?

Because he never really was on your side.

What do you call it when a book spies on people?

A: A peeping tome.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A: A counter spy.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

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Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

Why doesn't god like bacon?

Because he isn't real.

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Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

The power is on and you're connected to the internet.

Russian Spy Jokes More Russian Spy Jokes

Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

What do you call a secret agent running for the bus?

A Russian spy.

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Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.

How many boxers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They're used to having their lights knocked out.That joke turned dark fast. I'll see myself to my respective corner.

Government Jokes More Government Jokes

Why is everyone mad at Kim Davis?

Nobody in the government does their job.

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

Why couldn't G Unit get on the Bus?

They did not have 50 Cent.

Why are the buses in London red?

You'd be too if you came every 10 minutes.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school?

A: Bison

How do you call sons of australians and germans?

Men at Work

Peter Parker Jokes More Peter Parker Jokes

What's the difference between Peter Parker and Basic White Girls?

Parker gets paid for his selfies.

What's the difference between spider man and superman?

peter parker can shoot webs. clark kent.