Steve Jobs Jokes

What my iPhone and Steve Jobs have in common?

They are both dead...

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Why did Steve Jobs die too soon?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

What did Bill Gates say to Steve Jobs?

Your products are fruity.

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

Why are Apple products popular with hipsters?

Steve Jobs went underground.

How did Steve Jobs die?

From PC

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

A: An Apple turnover.

Why is Steve Jobs middle child unemployed?

Because he's always inbetween jobs.

Where did Steve Jobs and Bill Gates go to get a drink?

The Space Bar

What would Apple laptops be called if Steve Jobs had been Irish?

McBook Eyre

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How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

What's the final product Steve Jobs released?

The iDied

Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?

because Sam sung better than him

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?

When you take careful aim.

Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?

He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.

What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids?

A real hootenanny!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

Why don't off duty police men fire grenades into children's cribs?

If you're good at something never do it for free.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What is the only type of alcohol muslims are allowed to drink?

TAKBEER!

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

Chemotherapy Jokes More Chemotherapy Jokes

What do you say to a thin American?

Hows the chemotherapy going?

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you call the offspring of a black man and an octopus?

I don't know but it sure can pick a lot of cotton.

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Apple Product Jokes More Apple Product Jokes

How can you tell if someone uses Apple products?

Just wait and they'll tell you.

Why are Apple products popular with hipsters?

Steve Jobs went underground.

Johnny Cash Jokes More Johnny Cash Jokes

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.