Time Machine Jokes

What do you call a Time Machine that can only travel to one location in time?

The RE-tardis

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Why do time machines make you happy?

They're an anti de-present.

What do we want now!?

When do we want 'em? Time machines!

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the milk cow want the role of the camel in the nativity play so badly?

She thought she was a dromedary.

Why did the chicken go to KFC?

A: He wanted to see a chicken strip.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call people who teach their kids to use abstinence as birth control?

Grandparents.

What do you use to clear the air of stupid?

A HERPA filter

Twist Jokes More Twist Jokes

What did one tornado say to the other?

A. "Let's twist again like we did last summer...."

What is a tornado ?

Mother nature doing the twist !

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How to have an unforgettable date?

1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.

What's the difference between Joe Paterno and Harambe?

Harambe tried to save the kids.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

How do you know when a black woman is pregnant?

When you pull out her tampon and all the cotton is picked.

What's your chicken sandwich called?

A McChicken And the rib -A McRib pulls out his batwallet I like your style.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What do you call enchilada sauce bkessed by a priest?

A: HOLY MOLE' Thank you, I'll be in r/dadjokes all week!

What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

a washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

What's the difference between GOP voters and polar bears?

Polar bears gather around the ice hole.