Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

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Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

Which one is married?

The one with the wedding ring YOU SICK-O!

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

best before...

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ?

A wedding ring !

What's the leading cause of obesity in women?

Wedding rings

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What has 4 legs, 2 grey and 2 brown?

an elephant with diarrhea

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

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Who's there ! Alistair ! Alistair who ?

Alistairs in this house are broken !

How many disappointments can you fit into a van?

I don't know, I can't get them outside of the house.

Engagement Ring Jokes More Engagement Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Where do Chicago football fans buy engagement rings?

De Beers

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How is marriage and CPR training the same?

You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again

Why did the Arabic man ask for her hand in marriage?

Because she stole his heart

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What did one lesbian vampire say to her lover?

see you next month.

How many lovers do the religious have?

Nun!

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

How does a Syrian family have a meal?

The men provide the food and the women do the cooking, leaving the children to wash up afterwards.

Where do fish wash ?

In a river basin !

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

What happens when you get some vinegar in your ear?

You suffer from pickled hearing!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What are you wearing?

ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.

Why should you never wear Ukrainian underwear?

Because Chernobyl fall off.