Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

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Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

Which one is married?

The one with the wedding ring YOU SICK-O!

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

best before...

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ?

A wedding ring !

What's the leading cause of obesity in women?

Wedding rings

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Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21?

Down's in the dumps

What was the other reindeer's name?

Olive.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the metal worker at the recycling plant quit?

His job was soda-pressing

What do chicks and jobs have in common?

They're usually only interest in you if you already have one.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

What does a spider want to be when he grows up?

This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........) A web designer.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why don't men install urinals in their houses?

Their wives just wouldn't stand for it :)

Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?

Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call a tree that you can fit in your hand?

A PALM TREE!!!

What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand?

He went to the second-hand shop.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Wedding Day Jokes More Wedding Day Jokes

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How are women and rocks alike?

A: You skip across the flat ones.

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.