Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops after three ho's.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do you call a cow on no legs?

Ground beef. What do you call a cow on three legs Tri-Tip. What do you call a cow on two legs Your mom.

What did the dumb blonde say when told that "Scheherezade" was composed by Rimsky-Korsakov ?

A: "Why'd his mom choose to call him Rimsky of all names !! "

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What is the worst thing about dating a Japanese girl?

You have to drop da bomb on her twice

What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice?

Her: What You: It breaks the ice. Hi, i'm (your name)

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Who's there ! Amelia ! Amelia who ?

Amelia a package last week - did you get it !

What has one eye but can't see?

A blind man... I'll show myself out... TO SEE YOU BACK NEXT WEEK!!

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

What did the guy say after he finished jacking off?

Well that got a load off my mind.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.

How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute?

i'm serious... help.