Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!"

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS

What do you get when you put two different vinaigrettes in your salad?

Cross-dressing

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

You might also enjoy:

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the depressed pimp want for his birthday?

to be alone with his thots

How do you count cows?

You use a cow-culator. Or you round them up. Or any other method the commenters want.

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

Why did the Ethiopian child have a frown?

He was having his mid life crisis!

Why shouldn't ISIS be destroying ancient Mesopotamian buildings?

Because it's frowned upon in Islam to smoke ziggurats.

Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

Why couldn't the lizard get it up?

He had ereptile dysfunction.

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

What do you call a fish with no eye's?

a fsh

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car."

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the pathway?

By doing so, he got to the other side. Romney 2012.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a skunk?

A fowl smell!

Diarrhea Jokes More Diarrhea Jokes

What's brown and hides in the attic?

The Diarrhea of Anne Frank

What did the black boy say when he had diarrhea?

I'm melting!