Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

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What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!"

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS

What do you get when you put two different vinaigrettes in your salad?

Cross-dressing

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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Caesar Jokes More Caesar Jokes

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?"

What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

Afford Jokes More Afford Jokes

How can a dog afford to go to college?

Furnancial Aid

Why do birds live in nests?

Because they can't afford houses in this economy.

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

What did the pig say when it found a fly in its soup?

Yum Yum."

Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?

Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup .

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

Where does it stop?

8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for

Why did the Ethiopian child have a frown?

He was having his mid life crisis!

Tomato Blush Jokes More Tomato Blush Jokes

Why was the tomato blushing?

Because he saw the salad dressing.

Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

How long do chickens work ?

Around the cluck !

Why did the chicken get a penalty?

For fowl play.

Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?

He had him newt-ered.

Why couldn't the lizard have any children?

It had a reptile dysfunction!

Amphibian Jokes More Amphibian Jokes

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

What kind of amphibian is hired to take your car away?

Toad. Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit.