Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

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What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!"

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS

What do you get when you put two different vinaigrettes in your salad?

Cross-dressing

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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Salad Dress Jokes More Salad Dress Jokes

What was the beef doing as he watched the salad dressing?

Stroganoff

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge?

She saw the salad dressing.

Honeymoon Salad Jokes More Honeymoon Salad Jokes

What's in a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing ...

How do you make a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone without dressing.

Chicken Caesar Jokes More Chicken Caesar Jokes

What do you call it when a chicken sees a salad?

A Chicken Caesar salad

What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eye?

Chicken Caesar salad.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

Why should you never order the T-bone in an Alaskan restaurant?

Because it might be a moose steak.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

When the bartender asks you what's in a Ryan Lochte?

Just say "I don't know, make something up"

Afford Jokes More Afford Jokes

Why was that?

Caspar: She couldn't afford a dog.

What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water?

You can afford four fjord forders' fords.

Health Jokes More Health Jokes

What's with Jane ?

It doesn't look good" "Yeah, I know, I'm asking about her health"

What salad is bad for your health?

Seizure salad.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a race car and a woman?

One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels.

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.