Asphalt Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The asphalt.

Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?

It must need Osteo-per-o-sis" Love it.

Why did the baker's hands stink?

Because he needed a crap.

Cul De Sac Jokes More Cul De Sac Jokes

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac?

There was no outlet

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use?

It must have fallen through a crack.

Whats Fred Flintstones favorite drug?

Crack Rock.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What did the stormtrooper say when he was frying Luke's aunt and uncle?

I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning Beru.

What do you get when you burn down Woolworths?

Coles.

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

How much does a plumber make in an hour?

It depends on how much crack he can produce.

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

What do you call a black kid riding a bike?

A thief....

Why can't the bike stand by itself?

Because it was two-tired.

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck?

Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper

Why don't nice people ride the train?

Because they're usually found on trucks.

Cleopatra Jokes More Cleopatra Jokes

Why was Cleopatra angry?

She was on her pyramid. Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway.

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad