Compliment Jokes

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's an argument in the Middle East but a compliment in the U.S.A?

You da bomb" "No, you da bomb!"

How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore?

You tell her that her smile is contagious.

How do you compliment a pickle rapper's verse?

That was dill!

Why are Bananas and Chocolate Good friends?

They compliment each other nicely.

What do white girls and web developers have in common?

nobody ever compliments our back end :(

How you compliment an Italian cheese maker?

Gouda worka"

What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight?

Thank you, I'm flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

How do you compliment a scarecrow?

Tell him he's outstanding in his field!

What do elephants say as a compliment ?

You look elephantastic !

Whats your biggest weakness?

I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why, don't you look nice!?

I said, "Thanks." "It wasn't a compliment." she added.

Why are you so happy?

Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"

What can you say to your trainer that will compliment then on your progress and also be wildly inappropriate?

You make me hard

What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

Thanks, it's my special tea.

When a girl has a ponytail... -Hey, what do you call that hairstyle?

A ponytail -Ah, it really compliments your horse face.

Why did the global warming activist compliment the earth?

Cause it looked hotter than usual! (I'll see myself out)

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why was the binary number so happy?

Because of two's compliment!

You might also enjoy:

High Form Jokes More High Form Jokes

What is the highest form of flattery?

A plateau

What's the highest form of praise you can receive from a pimp?

A: A back-handed compliment.

Friend Zone Jokes More Friend Zone Jokes

What Does A Redneck Call It When He Visits His Cousin Outside His Town?

Entering the friend zone.

What is the friend zone?

It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend.

Argument Jokes More Argument Jokes

What do you call it when two high people get in an argument?

A pot roast.

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook?

Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

Why are ghosts always just moaning?

Did your manners die too Use your words!

How do you describe a hierarchy of police officers with only one word?

Police police police police police police police police police police police.

Receive Jokes More Receive Jokes

What did the Ukrainian Scientist receive after discovering the dangers of radiation?

A Chernobel Prize.

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

Gee, I'll never part with it!

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why can't you lift weights on Monday?

It's a week day.

Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight?

Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies.

Friendzone Guy Jokes More Friendzone Guy Jokes

How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just keep complimenting it and get mad when it doesn't want to screw.

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

What do you call an Italian's semi-formal shirt?

Marco's polo

What do you call an Italian ghost?

A Gabaghoul