Conductor Jokes

What job do you never stop training for?

Conductor

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What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks?

A conductor.

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

Why are trains so energetic?

They have Conductors.

Which member felt the warmest?

The conductor.

What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra?

Go Bach and get a Handel on it!

Why did the train get hit by lighting?

Because of the conductor.

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

Why couldn't they execute the railway worker with the electric chair?

He was too good a conductor

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

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They have Conductors.

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Suddenly....I'm not half the man I used to be....."

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Why couldn't they execute the railway worker with the electric chair?

He was too good a conductor

Why didn't the criminal train operator die when he got the electric chair?

he was a bad conductor.