Martial Art Jokes

What do you call a grandma that know martial arts?

A grandmartial artist. I apologise for any lost brain cells.

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What is a vegetable's favorite martial art?

He can't do martial art because he is paralyzed tip to toe.

What's the difference between Karate and Judo?

Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.

What do call a potato that knows martial arts?

Jacket Chan

What martial art do cows practice?

Moo-thai.

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

What kind of martial arts do birds practice?

Wing Chun

What do you call martial arts for cows?

Mooey Thai.

What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?

A: Steven Seagull

What do challah and martial arts have in common?

Judo

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig?

He knows a little ham goes a long way.

Why don't I have a record deal?

Then I take them out and I know why.

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger do after he retired?

He became an ex-terminator!

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the stoneworker get fired?

Because he took his job for granite I'll show myself out.

Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory?

He didn't like being spoken to in that voice

Seagull Jokes More Seagull Jokes

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because if they did they would be Bagels

Why do seagulls fly over the sea, not the bay?

If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels :D

Mr. Miyagi Jokes More Mr. Miyagi Jokes

What does Mr. Miyagi do during his alone time?

Whacks on, whacks off.

What Job will Mr Miyagi take on when he retires from Martial Arts?

Plastic Surgeon. Japanese accent "Rax on, Rax off"

Potato Jokes More Potato Jokes

What's the difference between a chick pea and potato?

I've never paid $50 to have a potato on my face.

What do a totalitarian mallard and a potato in an air vent have in common?

They're both duct-taters (sorry)

Karate Jokes More Karate Jokes

What do you call lesbians doing karate?

dikewondo

What do you call a pig that does karate?

Pork Chop!

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What's it called when a T-Rex hurts itself?

A dino-sore

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.