Mash Potato Jokes

Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?

To get to the other side.

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What do you call a wrecked Irishman?

A mashed potato.

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?

If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

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What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98?

A: 3 years

What's the difference between a black man and a white man in the US?

A white man makes it to prison.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What's the exchange rate for pigs and trees?

A porcupine.

What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?

In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.

Garden Jokes More Garden Jokes

What do ladies-of-the-night do when in their garden?

They hoe it.

What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ?

Very big worm holes in your garden !

Nod Jokes More Nod Jokes

How'd you get a black eye?

Walked into a door. Later, another shiner More doors *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.

What are you wearing?

ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What runs all day but never gets tired?

Water.

When two ants want to run away and get married, who do they seek for help?

The Antelopes.

Mash Jokes More Mash Jokes

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?

If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.

Steamroller Jokes More Steamroller Jokes

What do you call The Dynamic Duo after they got hit by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon

What did the tin man say after he was ran over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!"

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do rednecks love sandwiches?

Because they're inbred too.

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement