Military Jokes

What branch of the military are horses in?

The NaaaaayyyVY

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What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military?

A Sweeping Generalization.

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What do you call a Bronie in the military?

A GIbronie!

Why are there so many more men in the military?

Because ladies go in first.

What branch of the military did the hipster join?

The Salvation Army.

What do you call black people in the military?

Geurrilla warfare

Why did the military name it's new drone system "Caitlyn Jenner"?

Because it's unmanned

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

Why Did The Military Take Over Turkey?

To Prove They Were Not Chicken

Why don't american have a bullet train?

They use the bullets to train the military.

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What do you call a sapling in the military?

An Infantry! (Infant tree, a sapling is a baby/young tree Ah forget it!)

What does the scientist say when asked if Invisibility Cloak will be applicated by the military?

Yes, but you won't see it any time soon.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

Whose the most vague person in the Military ?

General Direction.

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

Why Aren't SJW's Allowed In The Military?

They are too trigger-happy.

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What do you call someone who is racist against Asians?

Riceist.

Why are there so many Asians?

Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it.

Bronie Jokes More Bronie Jokes

Why do bronies get so upset about the friendzone?

I thought friendship was magic

What do you call a Bronie in the military?

A GIbronie!

Sweeping Generalization Jokes More Sweeping Generalization Jokes

What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military?

A Sweeping Generalization.

What are jokes about janitors called?

Sweeping generalizations.

Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.

What did one piano say to another?

CBA

English Jokes More English Jokes

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the english language?

Five more years of Cameron"

What does an English pimp do, after having tea and crumpets?

Tally Hoes

Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

What is an Undertaker's favorite element?

Barium.

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Why did the man call his horse Fleabag?

Because he was often scratched!

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ?

A horse !

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What is white and streaks across the sky at blinding speeds?

The coming of the lord

What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus?

He never saw it coming.