Napoleon Jokes

Why was Napoleon's last name Bonaparte?

He didn't have any ligaments

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What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs?

His horse Marengo

What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won?

Tsar Napoleon.

Why don't people name their kids 'Napoleon'?

It's too complex

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies

Why didn't Napoleon qualify for the urgent marrow transplant?

They couldn't get his bonepart

Which real-life dictator was the most fun?

Napoleon BonaPARTAY!!!

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster?

Ouiiiiiiii!

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

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What did Napoleon have up his sleevies?

His armies!

Why did Napoleon return from exile?

He needed more Elba room.

What did Napoleon say about the chopped up body?

I wanna Bone a part

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish?

Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

Why did Napoleon wear sleeves?

For his armies

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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How do you know that you're a peaceful country?

When you realize that you can't spell country without UN.

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

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What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

Why was Napoleon's last name Bonaparte?

He didn't have any ligaments

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What happened to the Russians and Austrians at Austerlitz?

They got Napoleon Blownapart! Happy 200th Anniversary of Waterloo everyone!

Who ruled France until he exploded?

A: Napoleon Blownapart!

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How did the raisin have fun at the movies?

It took a date....

Why are cripples always made fun of?

because they can't stand up for themselves!

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What's the motto of the Mexican army?

An Army of Juan

What do you call saplings in the army?

the infantry

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What do you call a Mexican who likes little kids?

A pedrophile.

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?

Disney movies can still touch little kids.

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Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no limbs?

Names.