Press Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

What happened to when the coke bottle was ran over by the steam roller?

He was soda pressed.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

How do you know when there's a elephant under your bed?

A: Your nose is pressed against the ceiling.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens if a pig parks illegally?

A: It oink-urs a fine.

What happened to the clock that was still hungry?

It went back 4 seconds.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why are crime rates down in the US?

Because criminals keep turning themselves into police.

What do the Police and Pokemon have in common?

They gotta catch 'Jamal

French Press Jokes More French Press Jokes

Why do jihadists drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the french press...

What kind of coffee do the Islamists hate the most ?

French press

Monastery Jokes More Monastery Jokes

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.

What do you you say when a monk tries to kick you out of the monastery ?

Namaste

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?

They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.

Why can't Santa play in the NBA?

He has a no-trade Claus

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What is the difference between like, love, hate, and showing off?

Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.

What fetish does winners hate the most?

The feet

Steam Roller Jokes More Steam Roller Jokes

What happened to when the coke bottle was ran over by the steam roller?

He was soda pressed.

What do you call a superhero-duo run over by a steam roller?

Flatman and Ribbon.

Chinese Man Jokes More Chinese Man Jokes

What did the Chinese man give his daughter?

A clothes hanger.

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs?

He was shot in the face.