Reptile Jokes

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

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What's the coldest type of reptile?

Blizzards.

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

What do you call a reptile...?

What do you call a reptile who says "But Cowardly Lion......You've had courage..... This entire....Time"?

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

a segreGATOR

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?

Reptiles !

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What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.

What do you call a reptile that works as a detective?

An investigator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

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What do you call a Snake game that doesn't work?

An E-Reptile dysfunction

What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

e-reptile dysfunction

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call a woman with a very round head?

Sophia. (sphere) it works best spoken

How many people work at your company?

About half of them.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why why why after all these years?

They say "We were waiting for the children to die."

What did the hot dogs name their child?

Frank

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

How do we not know what women want yet?

There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What happens when a midget smokes weed?

He gets medium.

Why are cigarette taxes such a safe bet right now?

One way or the other, there's going to be a lot of smoking over the next four years.

Courage Jokes More Courage Jokes

What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

A: Bach in the saddle again.

What is courage?

He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality

What kind of snake is good at math?

A: An adder.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of dog leaves a mark?

shar pei

What type of luggage talks in short sentences?

A brief case