Sarcasm Jokes

Who else have gone through this Sarcasm?

Me: Baby, I was thinking about you so sending you She: Thanks for Thinking

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Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would the hulk do?

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table?

A: "Use the fork, Luke."

Why is the LSU football team like my car?

They both used to have Les (less) Miles!

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth?

He didn't understand Flossophy!

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

What has 50 legs but cant walk ?

Half a centipede !

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What are they both thinking?

Don't look down.

Why did the spotted pigs run away?

They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.

Humor Jokes More Humor Jokes

What's the difference between humor and odor?

Humor is a shift of wit...

What is the type of humor do you hate the most?

Dark humor... I hate it when black people tell jokes.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How do you put a baby to sleep?

You rock them. What if it doesn't work? Use a bigger rock.

What do you give an octomom for mother's day?

A spatula. Maybe she'll be more responsible making dinner than making babies.