Christian Jokes

What do you call it when Batman skips church..?

Christian Bale.

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Why does KFC only sell christian chicken?

Because the muslim ones are on the no-fry list.

What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

Christian Bale Hah

Whats the difference between a Christian and a Muslim?

One blows up kids, the other gets blown by them.

What do you call a greedy Christian?

A moreman.

Whats the Difference between an Atheist, a Christian and a Dog?

DogMa

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

Which chord is essential to every Christian song?

Gsus

Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East?

Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East.

What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car?

A convertible.

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What is the difference between a Muslim baby and a Christian baby?

Their parents.

What's a Christian's favourite guitar chord?

G-sus

How do you starve a right wing christian?

Hide their money in their bible.

What do you call a team of Christian mutant superheroes?

The A-Men

Why can't you checkmate a christian?

Because they're all pawns and their king doesn't exist.

Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs?

Episcopaleontologists

What does a dyslexic Christian worship?

Dog

What do you get when you cross a dove and a serpent?

A Christian...

What do you call an all guy Christian party?

A suseJ fest

What do you call a christian crawdad?

A Prayfish.

What was the Christian plastic surgeons specialty?

Faith lifts

What do you call an Atheist at a Christian fancy dress party?

A cross-dresser.

What do you call a Batman that leaves church before its over?

A Christian Bale

What does a Christian terrorist say before blowing up?

JESUS HALLELUJAH

How many Christian women does it take to change a lightbulb?

nun

What do you call an actor who converts to Judaism?

A Christian bail.

What do you call Batman skipping church?

Christian bail.

What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist?

THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!

Why do dinosaurs use Christian dating sites?

Because they can lie about their age!

What's a Christian's favourite chord progression?

G,Esus.

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

Why did batman leave church?

Because Christian Baled

What do Batman films and religious farms have in common?

They may have a Christian Bale in them.

How do I big it?

Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian.

Why could Neo from the Matrix never be a Christian?

Because he has his own Hole-y Trinity -I'll see myself out

What do you call a Christian who fell down the stairs?

A couple of steps closer to their final destination.

What do you call a Batman that leaves church early?

A Christian bail

What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay?

You get a Christian Bale

What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early?

Christian Bale.

Why do Christian figureheads not like science?

Because it's about two Adams bonding.

What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?

Poison by Christian Dior !

What do you call a Christian who visits shrines?

A roamin' Catholic.

What do you call Batman if he leaves church?

Christian bail.

What's a Christian's least favorite typeface?

A: Helvetica, it's the fount of all evil.

Who was the nose's favorite Christian mystic?

Nostrildamus

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Cheryl Crawford and dead embryos?

Dead embryos don't tell on their mothers ...

What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone?

A: A Rolling Stone says "hey you get off of my cloud!" while a Scotsman says "Hey McLeod get off of my ewe!"

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What is the meanest practical joke one can pull on a blind person?

Leaving a plunger in the toilet.

Why did the dislocated finger leave the party?

He felt really out of place.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ?

A boar constrictor !

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What is your funniest joke about the French?

Mine is this: How do you pick out the Frenchmen in a room full of naked soldiers? They're the ones with sunburned armpits.

Why do crippled kids get picked on so much?

Because they can't stand up for themselves.

Bad Enemy Jokes More Bad Enemy Jokes

What's a Christians worst enemy?

Logic.

Who sang the song "my own worst enemy"?

Them: I think it's Lit Me: I mean I like the song but I wouldn't call it lit...

Fry List Jokes More Fry List Jokes

Why was the healthy potato not allowed on the plane?

He was on the "No Fry" list.

Why does KFC only sell christian chicken?

Because the muslim ones are on the no-fry list.

Batman Jokes More Batman Jokes

Where did the Joker prank Batman?

Got 'Em City.

What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew?

Dew diligance

Skip Jokes More Skip Jokes

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

How does Rudy Giuliani count to 10?

He doesn't he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times.